When we fall into the mindset that a particular job, relationship or any external object or circumstance is going to give us identity (or worse still, peace), we lose ourselves in the world and are held hostage to the impermanent nature of objects and circumstances. I bear witness to this struggle in myself and those around me often. We cannot seek Peace through any of these things, because as it turns out, every last one of these things are inevitably subject to change. We leave jobs, relationships dissolve, things are taken from us.
How does one find meaning in one's job or relationship if ultimately we shouldn't place any attachment to it? And why isn't being in a meaningful relationship something I should aspire to anyway?As I understand, all of these things are good and normal things to aspire for, but the key lies in not investing your identity in them. When you don't identify with circumstance or form, your identity can then be derived from a higher and more greater source - Being. Once identified with Being, you are present and at peace with the now and all that you do is imbued with a sense of intensity and vibrancy that fuels what you do more effectively, more efficiently. You are not attached to some externally defined role or label or a future moment of "when that happens I will have finally made it". This is what is meant by Non-Attachment. You may have future goals or aspirations, but there is no desperation, no attempt to escape or run away from the present moment. Instead, you embrace and accept each moment - good or bad - as if you had chosen it. The result? You show up more powerfully and authentically in your life. In situtations that once seemed dire, you will now know intuitively the right actions to take, and more importantly, your actions will not be borne out of fear or worry. As you practice accepting each and every moment, you will find circumstances will align and and the world to be helpful and strangely accommodating. And when you do lose things - be it a relationship, job or identity, you may feel sad - but it wont't be that debilitating, paralysing sense of loss that comes with attachment (think back to a loss you felt after a particular bad breakup etc). And how beautifully liberating that is!
Post-edit: That's the crux of it anyway. Perhaps this post doesn't yet fully resonate with you and your nine active vision boards yet. That's fine. If it seems like a nebulous concept to you and you find it difficult to see how this could practically translate to the day to day, stay tuned for a future post on how I let go to an attachment I've been grappling with recently!
I can do non attachment until something makes me angry and then it goes out the window. What's your advice zogi?
ReplyDeleteHullo
ReplyDeleteHi Anon, I suggest you practise Non-attachment with the every day simple things first - things that don't invoke an emotional response - making a cup of tea, brushing your teeth etc. Once you learn to do this with the small things, then you'll find the the big things become more manageable. I think Oprah said in one of her New Earth webcasts that it is really about building spiritual muscle - you can't expect to do the 100 kg weight if you haven't done the 5 kg weight. Over time and with practice, you will see improvement in the way you respond to the bigger things in your life. I hope this helps!
ReplyDeleteI'd love to be non-attached to my job, actually it's not my job i'm attached to. I'm attached to certain values and ideals that I feel should accompany my job but currently don't.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a good question - so much to discuss regarding values and jobs. Thanks, I'm going to write a post on this. Stay tuned!
ReplyDeleteExcellent article. I will be going through
ReplyDeletesome of these issues as well..