Of pre-vom(it) and paradise

I think it's safe to say that my travelling bud, Miss B*, and I were genuinely unsure as to how this holiday would turn out. I mean let's just say that we had absolutely no friggin' idea.

Fortunately for us, we got an inkling pretty early on in our trip. Yes, I can't be certain but I'm pretty sure it was somewhere between getting pulled aside at Sydney Airport for testing positive for gun residue (in Miss B's luggage - fortunately it proved false after 2 further tests) and the most HORRIBLE ferry ride to our accomodation (where, for a whole twenty minutes we had the privilege of inhaling the most spectacular body odour  emitted by the tiniest and apparently most hardest working labourer of all of "Hammo" Island).  And to make  matters worse, it was pouring. So yes, you could say we got an inkling.

To start at the begininng, our flight was delayed for one hour and so we missed our connecting ferry to Airly Beach from Hamilton Island.

When the ferry arrived, we - and by "we" I mean a select  few  tourists and probably the ENTIRE cohort of construction labourers employed on Hamilton Island - huddled together on the bottom level of the little boat since it had started to rain (it was also the last boat scheduled to leave the island).

All the seats were taken so Miss B and I took our place in the middle of the boat. The waters were choppy and I could feel the familiar nauseousness of sea sickness starting to set in. I stood still as the boat bounced up and down and tried to focus on a distant point through the fogged up windows. As I was standing still, it hit me - body odour like I had never smelt before. And it was coming from one little, tiny man. One little strange man with little matching muscles.  Now, I concede there is no such thing as good body odour, but I'm pretty certain that a) this particular body odour was so strong that it must have somehow solidified and then b) picked up speed and travelled through the air as solid particles -  because it was that bad, people. As the smell was ricocheting back and forth  off the walls of the enclosed boat, I tried desperately not to inhale. I don't know how to explain it other than it felt than the B.O and the sea sickness were competing in a title fight for the most vomit-inducing experience of all time. It's safe to say that a little bit of pre-vom was declared the all-round winner on the day (sorry it's gross, I know - but imagine experiencing it!).

Since I was concentrating very hard on standing still, while also holding my breath and intently staring at a fixed point out the window, I had little energy to expend on mulling over how I managed to get into this very stupid position to begin with.

Miss B, probably alerted by my silence and semi-comatose expression on my face, read my mind and immediately reassured me,  "Don't worry we'll be there soon, just focus outside".

Hey it wasn't all bad though! Stay tuned to "Part 2" - the "paradise" part of the post title.

*Not real name