cracking a blog at the beach

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gratuitous camera phone photos

Many a times it has been asked - what, exactly, is it that I get up to during  day light hours?  For those enquiring minds, I've compiled my day in photographs using the camera on my phone.

So how about we start with right now. Well,  right now, I'm having tea and the most indescribably delicious hand-made chocolate muffins, ever! OMG YUM! I need to get this recipe (and if my friend is feeling ever so kind, I suspect she may even let me publish the recipe on here as well - we'll see).

But before all this deliciousness, I had to slog the hard yards at work.

From a bit of blow to a bit of tea bagging

Just finished watching that sordid Nigella Lawson on TV again.  Her suppressed sexuality either irrates or arouses me. Genuinely befuddled. Did you know she has a book where she's pictured on the cover provocatively positioning a cinnamon stick in her mouth.  And the title is called 'Nigella Blows'. Yes, really! How does she get away with that shit? 

Anyway, this weekend I received some of the best birthday presents ever! One of my favourites has to be this wooden compartmentalised tea box to store  all my various delectable teabags in. Isn't it just the greatest?

   Also, my new Samsung Galaxy phone! So, I still don't know how to answer calls, but damn, does it take some awesome pictorials! 

So, you woke up with a $2 coin stuck to your forehead today....

Not because that has ever happened to me or anything.  Anyway, I just dropped by to announce if you have a few quid lying around, under your mattress or on your forehead, perhaps you might like to consider donating to Plan or Opportunity International's various microfinancing programs. I honestly believe if you really want to give to make a meaningful difference in terms of development (for both girls and boys), invest in a girl. Girls are where its at, y'all.

Adventures with Jen 10

Some photos taken on a recent visit to the Australian Koala Park in West Pennant Hills, Sydney. Click to enlarge.

this bitch is makin' bank!

Everybody, come gather around nice and tight, I have some exciting news! Listening?  I gots a job!

Everything  happened so quickly. Less than 36 hours ago I was pacing up and down a marble-floored lobby like a twitchy, skinny crack addict waiting for my interview to begin. And now - just four hours ago to be exact - I finally pressed 'Send' on my formal acceptance-of-offer e-mail.

So, first things first. The new gig is at a law firm in Martin Place, right next door to Tiffany's. It's also across from the Channel 7 studios, so you can rest assured that I'll be doing the mandatory talking-on-the-the phone-and-waving-like-a-fuckin-pleb thing  outside the window at least once while I'm there.

'T' is for Twinings (and also ta - tas)

I'm currently drinking Twinings 'Afternoon Tea' blend as I type this - and  I must say, it is most delicious! In fact, I think you should go and make some tea now. Go on, I'll wait.

So, how has your week been thus far? I hope it's going well. If you're reading this from Sydney, how good was today? I wish I had a non-primitive phone to capture all the amazing weather!

Also, I  wanted to share pictures of this desk I picked up at Ikea for just over $100.00.  The style is similar to that of the Parsons desk - plus, the two ends of the table extend out to form a freakin' four person dining table! Yeah, I know - did you just piss your pants too?

 Now, I'm just looking for the perfect, odd-bod upholstered chair for it.

In my rear view mirror is the motherfucking law

I got a call this morning at 7:30 am from my sister,  "Ummmm, are you in jail?" she whispered softly.

As Saturday mornings go, this morning was particularly interesting. Yes, I had rung her and sent her a flurry of incomprehensive texts  last night at 10:00 pm, in a state of complete panic. Yes, it had been an emergency of sorts.  The police  had been called - oh yes -  the po po was involved, that was right. But no, I was sorry to say, I was not currently being housed at the Parklea Womens Correctional Facility.

white parsons desk

I'm schicky! And I'm weak! This is what poor, schicky me has been downing all weekend:

Anyway, onto more pressing matters. I want a small white desk for my room! Preferably, a desk that I can place my lap top  on whilst I sit and twiddle my thumbs etc.

I love the famous West Elm's 'Parsons' desk. The design is so classic and timeless. But I can't seem to find a similar cheap one here in Sydney - so I'm thinking I might get the 'Parsons Mini' directly from West Elm in America for $200.00 (Incidentally, West Elm now ships to Australia, although they have delivery restrictions on 'oversized' furniture. Not sure whether the "mini" desk would constitutue 'oversized furniture'). 

Post Edit: Turns out that they can in fact ship the desk to Australia, but it will incur $234.00 in shipping costs - more than the desk itself!

Still, it's really tempting...

Interressant. Sehr Interressant.

Back when I got my first "real" job in 2006 at a multi-media firm in the city, I could never have imagined in my wildest dreams where my life would lead, almost 5 years later.

Perhaps a stint living overseas for a bit? Maybe finally moving out to my own new diggs?

Oh, how about we try STLL LIVING WITH THE OLDS AND UNEMPLOYED. And still asking to borrow the car with that really big bird shit on the driver's side window. Like, really, universe?

BUT I digress. My first job was a great opportunity to meet a bunch of creative and intressant folk, one being  my former desk-neighbour and Flash developer extraordinaire, Cactus Girl. So the story is that she used to have a miniature cactus plant, perhaps no bigger than 5 cm in height, which she had smugly placed on the line of demarcation between our adjoining desks.

And like your average peeping tom neighbour, I would keenly observe as she used to, every so often, whip out a ruler and measure her cactus (that last sentence felt a bit dirty to type). Anyway, she would literally measure the plant's height with a ruler. She'd also sporadically move it around to make optimal use of  the fluorescent lighting in our office and just generally act super weird with it.

I loved thy neighbour (and still do) - don't get me wrong - but alas, I bore a secret hatred for my neighbour's sinister looking plant.

Such disdain, if you really must know, was probably borne out of one unfortunate incident where the cactus molested my delicate thumb appendage and absolutely no hilarity ensued whatsoever. Sure, I might have been snooping around her desk when it happened (she was away sick so it was ok). But still, bonsai thorns hurt too! Even more so when you have a tiny appendage.

Anyway, a lot has transpired since those good ol' days - different jobs, changing relationships, new interests - but  we've managed  to keep in touch as life "happens".

For example,  CG recently held an exhibition at the Global Gallery in Paddington, showcasing  her  exquisite ceramic artwork. I missed opening night (I was in London at the time), although I did manage to pop by on the last day to see for myself what all the hoo-ha was about.

And here, my blog readers, I present to you the hoo-ha, in all its magnificent ceramic glory:

I also wanted to share these lovely photos, of another former desk-neighbour, this time from the law firm I used to work at.

 Miss C - "C" as in "Chuck-Norris-Bad-Ass" - participates in bouts of medieval fighting - as a girl is wont to do every now and then. How very bad ass.

Aren't these photos simply amazing? The ethereal Miss C just goes to show that medieval fighting is not exclusively the domain of 40-year-old-WOW-players and the butch.

shit my mum says...(and the shit she says after to cover it up)

Granted, my mum only says this when she is super pissed (like that time I left my keys at home and had to cut a hole through the kitchen fly screen window and crawl into the house, "like an animal" - as I recall her saying at the time).

I e-mailed my mum to let her know I will be publishing her quote, ad verbatim, on my blog. This is what she came up with (read from the bottom):

"I must have been really blessed in my past life to get two girls". Yeah, no ones buying your shit, Yvonne.

Non-Parasian Highlights of Paris

Sitting and basking in the sun outside the Notre Dame Cathedral and having a girl come up to me and speak to me in her sing-song French. I smiled and nodded enthusiastically as she spoke, letting her serenade me for a good 2 minutes before interrupting and  informing her that I could not understand a word of French.

In her broken English she said "Oh, ok...sorry...I just wanted to know where you got your boots from. They are beautiful". I replied in my own sing-song bogan,  "Oh thank you, I got them from from this high-end shoe store in Australia called Target".

My $25 Target boots gets the
 French tick of approval

This Ferrari being pulled over by two French police officers on bicycles, in front of our packed tour bus. I think the proper french term for this situation is 'Oh fuck'.

Khaos in Kuala Lumpur

Note: This post was written on my sister's iphone five days ago - I had to do some minor editing before it was published.

Hello!

Well, we have finally arrived at KL and boy, are we exhausted! Being a tight ass is definitely not for the fainthearted.
We left the airprort, dragging  3 suitcases and managed to make the bus to head to the train station.

After a 15 minute train ride we arrived at central KL and caught a taxi to the Shangri-La hotel.

Wow!  Can I just say the hotel itself is pure opulence, and the hotel staff -  well, don't get me started on these people!  They are so nice and attentive!  When we arrived they informed us that we would  be upgraded to a Horizon Club room (I would have said the previous statement even if we wern't upgraded. I swear). People, this room is awesome. Here are some pictures. The building second from the left is the one of the Petronas towers. What a view!

For $140.00 per night, it is definitely worth it. Now if you will excuse me, I'm going to make myself a coffee on the whizbang Nespresso machine in our room. 

 

 

This stalker knows how to pick 'em

So remember that busker from this post? You know, I wrote about how much I loved this guy's, ahem, "energy" (yeah whatever, it's true). 

Well, turns out homeboy is a fully fledged muso with his own album! Like, with actual proper songs! And since hello zogi is known to teeter (yes, teeter) on the edge of musical consciousness, I thought I'd introduce him to the world.

His name is Michael Bevan, the song is "Hold on" and I should warn you, it is haunting as f**k (oh yes, even  the most purest forms of art can ultimately be reduced to its very basic 4-word vulgarity form. Three years of studying philosophy, RIGHT HERE, people.)

So, I might  be about 5 years late on this guy,  but even still, can somebody listen to this song and explain to me why he is still busking on the corner Ultimo Rd in Chinatown? Especially next to that hobo who pimps out his dog (fun fact: when the money bowl gets full, the entrepreneurial hobo comes darting around the corner, single-handedly swoops up the loot and then legs it back to his hiding spot, all under 30 seconds flat).

Just more evidence that the world is an unfair place.

What can we do to ban Australian live export?

I just had to take a break from my work to say this -

Wow! Massive respect to ABC's Four Corners and Animals Australia - I haven't seen the footage - nor do I plan to - but thank you to the producers, reporters, camera crew and everyone who worked on this show.

If you have't already done so, I urge you to go to http://www.banliveexport.com/ and pledge your support -  this is a special joint collaboration by Australia's two peak animal protection bodies, RSPCA Australia and Animals Australia.

You can also donate at the RSPCA or at Animals Australia so they can continue to keep doing incredible work like this.

Of course, this practice is not just restricted to Australia. If you are reading this from outside Australia, you can also visit WSPA to donate or find out more.

Best graffiti in Sydney:"I love this city" George St

It's easy to miss, especially if you're always looking on the ground.

I often try to imagine the person who wrote this - standing there on the open ledge, scrawling the message for the whole world to see. Most probably at night, with the black endless sky above him (or her!) and the stifled sounds of sirens and laughter coming from the city below.

Anyway, looking up and seeing it always makes me smile. Even if I'm at uni on a Saturday (as I was last week, when I took these photos).

Trust me, that's sayin' A LOT.

Wooden blue toy boat + framed postcard picture

Picture frame:"Typo" (50 cents!) Picture: Havana Ratakan postcard (free)

Of pre-vom(it) and paradise

I think it's safe to say that my travelling bud, Miss B*, and I were genuinely unsure as to how this holiday would turn out. I mean let's just say that we had absolutely no friggin' idea.

Fortunately for us, we got an inkling pretty early on in our trip. Yes, I can't be certain but I'm pretty sure it was somewhere between getting pulled aside at Sydney Airport for testing positive for gun residue (in Miss B's luggage - fortunately it proved false after 2 further tests) and the most HORRIBLE ferry ride to our accomodation (where, for a whole twenty minutes we had the privilege of inhaling the most spectacular body odour  emitted by the tiniest and apparently most hardest working labourer of all of "Hammo" Island).  And to make  matters worse, it was pouring. So yes, you could say we got an inkling.

To start at the begininng, our flight was delayed for one hour and so we missed our connecting ferry to Airly Beach from Hamilton Island.

Hamilton Island for $500

It's time for a holiday.

I've planned a three day getaway to Hamilton Island for $500. That price includes flights and accomodation, and as much as I'd love to tell you how much of a cleverdick I am for organising everything for dirt cheap, I'm going to wisely refrain from saying anymore - lest it all turns out to be a complete disaster.

In any case, I will be blogging about it  - so be sure to tune in to see how it goes!



Left: Hamilton Island Right: Photo taken from the back of my bus during afternoon commute
 on Harbour Bridge.



Cheap filofax refills

You guys, have a look at my present!

I ordered it last week whilst putzing around ebay looking for a cheap filofax refill.

I must admit, there is nothing more I love in this world than pretending to look like a supremely organised schmutz face. The schmutz face part? Let me assure you, homegirl's got that down pat. Supremely organised? Well. Let's just say I've tried, I really have.

The rise of the legal wanker

Hello readers!

Yes I ran away again, but I'm  sneaking back with my tail between legs hoping you will remain blissfully unawares. Truth be told, I have too many things on my plate at the moment and so have resorted to cheating. Speaking of cheating, this is actually an entry which I wrote last semester for a workshop entitled "Legal Ethics". The workshop title is amusing in itself.

This first blog is about what we hoped to gain from the course and our experiences with ethics and the law. Keep in mind that this entry was submitted for marking, so I must warn that it's a bit heavy on the cheesy side (especially the last line). The name of the protagonist has also been changed so I don't get my ass sued. Aside from that, this is a true account of my first (and probably last) job in a law firm.

My therapist told me to shut up

If there's one little jewel that can be mined from my experience of being enrolled in full-time study again, it is definitely the student-related perks. I'm talking about having my very own counsellor (therapist) at my every whim and disposal, at no cost to me whatsoever. 

So, I like to  book an appointment every once in a while, a special treat to myself - akin to a massage or pedicure for regular folk, but only so much better!

A one-hour-long, soothing mental massage. Mmmm.

My therapist is around 50 years old, highly qualified with a reassuring Eastern European accent. Just the way I like my therapists.

Sigmund Freud

DIY delicious!

I've been in a bit of a funk of late. I've had a stinkin' fever and some even stinkier commercial law assignments. To add, my room is also a total mess. My mum is going to crack it when she finds out that I've posted an actual photograph of said mess ("Are you proud of that?" And in case I didn't already know the answer, she quickly answers "Don't be proud of that").

Anyway, I did a $7.00 makeover with sample pot of paint. The yellow is delicious "warm buttercup" by Dulux.

Ah, this shit just makes me smile.

yellow bookshelf

nye

NYE this year was awesome. We literally set up picnic in our friend's backyard. Marv lives in Blacktown, so getting a glimpse of the harbour fireworks was totally out of the question. His backyard, while bang centre of sprawling suburbia, is at the foot of a huge paddock - once a farm sprawling  with horses and cattle, but since long abandoned. It was beautiful. The long wheat grass, the quiet, beautiful never-ending nothingness. I loved it. 

On a completely different note, Marv also had a stash of contraband fireworks to celebrate to NYE. I was totally wary of this, but WOW, the fireworks were fantastic! Although he lit them expertly, that didn't stop us girls from getting a bit, um, worried? The below hilarious video was shot on my sister's phone.

Excitement slowly turns to horror:

More of Marv's awesome fireworks:

Layered placemats